polychrome_pen

I had two quizzes today, and neither of them went well. And I'm mad. But not at the poor grades I'll probably receive on them or the teachers. I'm disgusted with myself.

I mean, this is fucking sixth semester of pharmacy school. Rotations starts in August. I should have this stuff down and know how to study. I should be focused and competent, and instead I find myself flailing around like a drowning seaman. Sure, the stuff is hard - I've never had to study Infectious Disease in such detail, or had any kind of finance stuff before, or gone over tons of chemotherapy drugs. But I should not feel so...left behind. So out of control.

It's not like I expect 4.0 anymore, either! I left that behind a long time ago. But I would like good grades - grades that show I'm actually grasping this material. Which I am decidedly not.

I feel like I'm not only fighting to get the material, but to stay awake and concentrated. Lack of sleep and internet access in class are big distractions. I'm downing more caffeine than ever before, too.

It may be time to start staying at school and studying in the library ~~no matter how much I hate doing that~~. Or at the very least, I'm going to have to start turning off my internet during study periods or certain times of the day. I've got to do something, because now there is a mountain of work I have to catch up on if I want to pull decent grades on Midterms.

Sorry for the bitchy rant everyone. This was just really bothering me my whole way home and I had to get it off my chest.